treasure beyond measure

bored to tears in my childhood home, i have taken to pillaging our magical attic and the darkest depths of my parents' closet and adopting all the duds i find. maybe i have been spending too much time reading fashion blogs written by twelve-year-olds, and i should probably be embarrassed, but witness exhibit a:
    
my dad used to make and sell these calico patterned shirts, in the style of turn-of-the-century seminole ceremonial jackets, when he lived on the bowery in the 1960s. he says this one is "crude" but i think it is "way fucking cool" so i took a leopard print belt and voila, instant minidress. the leather jacket is brain-tanned moosehide, hand-embellished, and was bartered for from a cree chief in northern quebec. it was then reconstructed by my father over the course of twelve hours by firelight at a sewing machine inside a teepee in north carolina. then he wore it all the time to get seated at elaine's because the maître d' thought he was some kind of rock star.

in my last post i talked about one of my dad's many fantastical adventures in the hippie days of yore. excavating the closet, obviously, prompted a slew of fresh fables. we have been getting along well since i have been home so i figured i will blog a little more about his life, which both fills me with joy at the stories that lie waiting to unravel in my future and makes me think he cannot possibly be honest. look at all the cool things that have happened to him:

1. he ran away from home when he was like 16 and hitchhiked to florida on a watermelon truck and never came back
2. he saw a rollerskating chimpanzee at a steakhouse
3. he got drunk with evil kaneval
4. he had a job making seashell ice cream on a navy ship in the north atlantic
5. he took a nap with 25 iguanas on some ancient ruins in puerto rico
6. he got drunk with princess leia
7. at woodstock he camped in the mud for three days and subsisted only on a can of spam which he bummed of off a hell's angel gang member
8. he drove off a mountain and broke his spine in half

hardly anything cool has ever happened to me in my life, ever:

1. paloma picasso told me she liked my dress at a dinner party (when i was 3)
2. the one and only time i ever went skiing i was stranded at the top of a black diamond trail, abandoned by my friends, and had to be saved by a polish man with a prosthetic leg
3. this halloween i shook hands with john kerry while i was wearing a flamingo costume
4. once i ate nothing but carrots for many weeks and my hands and feet turned fluorescent orange

THAT'S IT! my life is a joke. almost nineteen and a half and nothing to show for it. i just sit here. bloggin'.

tomorrow kallie is coming to visit and we are going to pet some sea creatures and cook delicious meals and create filmographic brilliance (maybe) so i am at least excited for that.